


Part 3: Yokubō to Omoide (Desire and Memory)

by aegicheezu



Series: DEARS x TAEMINTS: a fantasy collaboration between Gackt and Taemin [3]
Category: Gackt (Musician) RPF, GacktJOB, Jrock, K-pop, SHINee
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established JongTae, Established MinKey, Established Relationship, Fantasy Collaboration, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Foreplay, Gackt Is A Switch, GacktJOB - Freeform, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Height Differences, Inspired by Music, Jinki has enlisted, Jonghyun Is The Moon, Jrock x Kpop, M/M, POV Alternating, Porn With Plot, Post-TSoL Era, SHINee - Freeform, Smut, Taemin Is A Bossy Top, jongtae - Freeform, minkey, present day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 18:59:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17452568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegicheezu/pseuds/aegicheezu
Summary: Gakuto and Taemin prepare for their first duet stage together, and things begin to heat up. Can the pair keep the true nature of their changing relationship a secret from Taemin’s protective SHINee members?





	Part 3: Yokubō to Omoide (Desire and Memory)

**Author's Note:**

> (1) songs referenced are Emu~For My Dear and Orenji No Taiyou (from Gackt's film, MoonChild)
> 
> (2) I refer to Kami as Ukyo in this fic, as that is his real name
> 
> (3) if you liked how this little series ended, let me know! I'll only write more if there's an interest. 
> 
> (4) thanks for reading!

At long last, the evening of the much-anticipated duet stage was upon the two singers; a week had passed since Gakuto and Taemin had shared that tearful, tentative first kiss - Taemin had consented to staying the night, but the pair contented themselves with soft touches and shared stories, lying next to each other in Gakuto’s bed. 

During rehearsals all that week, though, they had become more open; playful in their flirtations. A secret kiss while Chacha and You went for a cigarette, a pinch in the sound booth when no one was looking. Occasionally, Taemin noticed how Gakuto would stare as he danced, and he liked it; winking at him when Chacha and You’s attentions were elsewhere.

On the eve before their performance, as the men were preparing to part ways for the night, Chacha and You left first - Chacha had shot You a knowing look that said, “let’s let them have some alone time,” as if he knew all along what had been playing out before them. 

Once alone, Gakuto seemed to relax. He kept his eyes fixed on his bag as he fidgeted with its contents, but spoke at last.

“Taemin, do you want to have dinner with me?” 

Taemin’s heart fluttered, and he smiled at the simple request. “Of course I do,” he slid up next to the older man and linked arms. “Will you make me something delicious?”

Gakuto smiled at the soft boldness of the younger man. “Yes,” he grinned, “I’ll make sure you’re satisfied before our show.”

The men shared a knowing, secret smile. 

 

*

 

Gakuto’s apartment had become familiar to Taemin, who now was able to relax completely in the space. He slipped his shoes off and steadied the other man’s waist as he did the same. Feeling bold, he slipped his hand into Gakuto’s and led him into the apartment. Gakuto felt a gentle warmth radiating from where Taemin touched him, and was glad for the company. Taemin led him into his kitchen, a sly grin on his face and cocked his head cutely. “So! What are you making me for dinner, Gakuto-san?” He playfully put his hands on his waist like a waiting child, making the older man laugh. 

“You’re too cute for your own good, you know,” Gakuto ruffled the young man’s hair and bumped his hip. “How about pork belly?”

Taemin nodded his head, satisfied. “Let me help you,” he propped himself up onto the counter and kicked his legs. “I’m an excellent chef.”

Gakuto burst out laughing. “That’s not what I’ve heard!” He pinched Taemin’s cheek lovingly.

Taemin pretended to pout, and playfully whacked Gakuto’s shoulder.

“Stories of my failed kitchen adventures have been grandly exaggerated,” he replied theatrically.

“You didn’t know what a full head of broccoli looked like until last year,” Gakuto corrected him, smiling and showing off his pretty teeth. “Or were you telling me a little lie the night you stayed with me?” Gakuto moved closer and positioned himself in between Taemin’s legs where he sat on the counter, and spoke softly against the young man’s ear. “I thought everything you told me that night was the truth,” he teased, sonorous voice reverberating through Taemin’s body, making him shiver.

Taemin grinned. “Alright, you got me,” he conceded, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck and bringing them closer, “that story was true,” he kissed his cheek. “Everything I told you that night was true, I promise,” he said, breathing in the scent of Gakuto’s perfume. “Even the silly things.” 

Gakuto pressed their foreheads together. “Everything?” He asked again. 

“Everything,” Taemin replied. He looked into the older man’s eyes up through long lashes, “so please... please kiss me,” Taemin brought their lips together slowly, softly; the older man responded, kissing him back.

Taemin pressed their bodies closer together, wrapping his legs around the other man’s slim waist and gasping into the kiss as he felt the excitement in Gakuto’s tight jeans. Gakuto held Taemin’s face in his hands and deepened the kiss, fingers lacing their way through the young man’s soft hair and curling at the base of his neck. Taemin’s hands found their way to Gakuto’s shirt and gently tugged at it until it untucked from his jeans, quick hands beginning to unbutton it. Gakuto grinned at the young man’s touch, allowing himself to be undressed. Taemin’s lips found the older man’s neck and chest, fingers tracing lines across freckles like constellations. Gakuto shivered excitedly as Taemin’s hand rested patiently, obediently, at his belt, continuing to kiss his neck, his free hand curled in the older man’s hair. 

“Gakuto-san...” a Taemin whispered between kisses, voice gravely with desire. “I don’t think I want pork belly for dinner any more...”

“Oh?” Gakuto grinned and picked up the young man easily, Taemin’s legs wrapped around him; he pressed the young man against the wall, Taemin moaning in delight as his back met the cool surface of the exposed brick. “What do you want to eat instead?” Gakuto felt himself straining in his jeans and wondered how much more of this he could take.

Taemin took a fistful of Gakuto’s hair and pulled, kissing the older man’s neck hungrily. “You,” he growled, reverting back to Korean. “I want you...” he tugged at Gakuto’s shirt until it fell from his shoulders onto the floor, and soon his practiced hands were deftly undoing his belt and sliding it off, too. Gakuto rolled his hips into Taemin’s, forcing another moan from the young dancer.

“Taemin... Taemin...” Gakuto cooed in his ear, hands gripping the young man’s thighs braced around his hips. “Such a beautiful boy… let me make you feel good...” his strong hands slid down Taemin’s thighs and gently set him down on his feet before dropping to his knees and undoing the young man’s jeans. Taemin braced himself against the wall as Gakuto took him into his mouth, and Taemin instinctively arched his back and brought a hand to Gakuto’s hair, pulling gently and curling pieces of his hair between needy fingers. Taemin began to roll his hips in time with Gakuto’s movements, giving in to the warmth spreading throughout his body. It had been so long since he felt like this - his body responded instantly, instinctually, to the other man’s lips on him and he could not control the noises that spilled from his mouth. He was desperate; feeling like an animal finally being given food after starving. He brought a hand up to his lips to stifle his moans; but seeing that only spurred the older man on, and he took Taemin as deeply as he could.

“Ahh...!” Taemin hissed, baring his teeth in a desirous grin that made Gakuto’s member twitch. “Take it all... take it all...!” he commanded, pulling Gakuto’s hair. He thrust into the older man’s mouth, hips moving on their own; Gakuto relaxed his throat and took each thrust like a challenge, unwilling to give in. He knew the young man was close; in moments, he felt the familiar, salty liquid pour down his waiting throat and he drank it all, not spilling a single drop. Taemin gasped for breath, a hand against the wall bracing himself - he felt dizzy. His other hand loosened its grip on the older man’s hair and instead cradled his cheek lovingly. Gakuto carefully buttoned Taemin’s jeans and rose to his feet, pressing his body to the other man’s and catching his own breath. 

“Gakuto-san... that... I...” Taemin nestled his head in the crook of Gakuto’s neck.

“Don’t...” Gakuto grinned, kissing Taemin’s cheek. “Don’t be formal with me... not now...”

Taemin laughed softly. “Gacchan,” he corrected himself. “Can I finally call you that?” He took Gakuto’s chin in his hand and kissed him, deliberate and slow; feeling the slick, salty liquid on the older man’s lips, he licked his own. “I like it.”

Gakuto smiled against Taemin’s lips. 

 

*

 

Alone in their dressing room, Gakuto and Taemin were calm; wordlessly, they helped each other into their costumes, sharing smiles.

“There,” Taemin said as he fastened the final button on Gakuto’s shirt. “You look so handsome,” he gazed into the older man’s eyes and took a deep breath. “I can’t believe it’s finally happening,” he said softly.

Gakuto heard the hesitation in the young man’s voice. “It’s going to be great,” he replied calmly, reassuring. He took Taemin’s chin in his hand. “We’ve practiced well, and we know what we’re doing. You’re ten times the professional now, right now, than I was at your age,” he grinned. “Are you ready?” he asked in Korean.

“I’m ready,” Taemin replied in his native tongue. “Kiss me once before we go on,” he tilted his head up for a kiss, and Gakuto readily gave it.

 

*

 

When he and Gakuto took their places on stage under cover of darkness, the crashing waves of audience screams surprised them both; it was so loud that Taemin was nearly knocked to his feet – he had never seen a crowd react like that before. Waiting for the lights to shine on them, Gakuto squeezed Taemin’s hand encouragingly.

 

*

 

 _The joy from my heart at our sudden meeting says_  
_"Maybe it'll be over before I know it..." those forebodings scare me_  
_And then I was gazing into your eyes_  
_Without understanding anything_  
_They're not forever changing, so how many phantoms_  
_Like memories and dreams, could you file away_  
_And now I gazed into your eyes_  
_Without changing anything_

 

Taemin and Gakuto stood side by side on stage, just as they’d rehearsed; gazing at each other as they sang, hands outstretched towards the sky, fingers flexed, as though they were two halves of the same person reaching for their heavenly lovers. The words of Gakuto’s song pierced their hearts, and both men felt tears form behind their eyes. Taemin watched as the older man closed his eyes and began to sway, feeling every word fall from his mouth like a prayer spoken for the last twenty years.

 

 _If I stretch out my hand, the smile I reach is fleeting_  
_If I close my eyes, I want to hold_  
_Your vanishing body once more in my arms_  
_Because I can't forget that time, that place where we met..._  
_Dancing in the breeze, your body_  
_Was being enveloped in light_  
_I was only watching you_  
_I was forever gazing into your eyes_

Taemin was the first to let tears fall onto his cheeks, making the audience scream at the sight of tears catching the stage lights. He closed his eyes and felt every word like a searing arrow through his tongue; and felt the pain that Gakuto had endured every day for half his life. He felt it, too – though his hurt was still raw, more gaping. He stared into the other man’s round, blue eyes glistening with tears and smiled at him, heart bursting. He stepped closer, hand still outstretched. The briefest confusion passed over Gakuto’s eyes; this wasn’t in the planned choreo, but he stepped forward anyway, mirroring Taemin’s action. They met and held each other’s hand as they sang the final words of the song together.

  
_Even now I watch only you_  
_Without changing anything_  
_If I stretch out my hand, the smile I reach is pained_  
_If I close my eyes, I want to hold_  
_Your vanishing body once more in my dreams_  
_Because I can't forget that time, that place where we met..._  
_Because I can't forget..._

 

Taemin’s hand in his felt warm, right; Gakuto squeezed it as they sang the final notes, and the lights faded. The audience erupted in screams and cheers, choruses of “don’t cry!” and “I love you!” shouted throughout the crowd. Taemin wiped the older man’s tears from his cheeks, and he let Gakuto do the same to him. They patted their cheeks, composing themselves before the lights went up once again, and they smiled at the crowd.

“Everyone, thank you for coming!” Taemin’s cute, excited voice filled the stadium. “Ah, thank you all for supporting this project!” he turned to Gakuto and grinned. “Everybody please clap for Gakuto-san! Didn’t he sing beautifully in our first section?”

The audience screamed and applauded, and Gakuto’s cool expression vanished; he smiled, too, and presented Chacha and You to the crowd, who erupted in applause and cheers for the familiar faces. “Chacha and You worked so hard in the first section, didn’t they?” he smiled towards his band mates, who bowed cheesily for the crowd. He patted Taemin on the back. “Everyone, please applaud one more time for Taemin, who sang my songs with me, so prettily,” he smiled, full of pride. “Don’t you think we sound good together?”

The audience was a sea of happy shouts of “yes!” and screams of delight.

“Ah,” Taemin pretended to suddenly remember something, and scratched his head cutely. “There are some special visitors to our concert tonight,” he teased, bringing a hand to his eyes and making out like he was searching faces in the crowd. “My precious SHINee members are here, where are you? Where are you?” he sing-songed, playing it up for the audience.

“I think they’re over here, actually,” Gakuto played along, motioning for Key and Minho to appear behind Taemin. “Look everyone, here they are!” he beamed, and brought the two boys into the light. “Taemin’s members came all this way from Korea to cheer him on, even though they have such busy schedules! You’ll all support their new dramas, won’t you?” he asked the audience, beautiful smile catching the light. The audience thunderously replied “yes!” and everyone on stage laughed.

“Hi, everyone!” Minho and Key waved and bowed hello. Taemin took his place next to his brothers and they made ready their greeting. “Hello! We are contemporary band, Shining SHINee!”

“I’m SHINee’s Taemin!” Taemin laughed, bowing comically.

Minho went next. “I’m SHINee’s Minho!” He saluted the audience and applauded.

“I’m SHINee’s Master Key!” Key winked.

Gakuto chimed in. “And I’m SHINee’s newest member, Gakuto!” he winked at the boys.

The audience erupted in cheers and laughter, and the boys laughed, too. “Wow, Taemin, look at this crowd!” Key walked around the edge of the stage, surveying the sea of pearl aqua. “Look how excited everyone is!” 

“Yes, it’s been unexpected,” Taemin blushed. “I’m so happy I get to experience this special event with Japanese shawols, and of course, Gakuto-san’s  _Dears_.” He beamed at the older man. “Your fans love you a lot,” he turned to Gakuto. “I’ve had so much fun!”

Minho watched how soft the older man’s eyes were as they looked at each other, and he smiled. He asked, “Gakuto-san, what has been your favourite part of this project?”

Gakuto pretended to think for a moment, cutely swaying from foot to foot as the audience shouted, “Cute! So cute!” and he made a face at them. “Hey, I’m 46! I’m not cute!” he teased, sticking his tongue out. “I think my favourite part of this special collaboration project…” he looked at Taemin and smiled wide, genuinely. “My favorite part has been getting to know Taemin better through his music, and becoming a big fan of SHINee!” he clapped and grinned at the three boys, who beamed at such high praise. The crowd went crazy, and all four men laughed to see how excited the audience was.

Gakuto playfully shushed the crowd and turned to the boys. “Taemin's going to go away for a little rest. It’s time for me to introduce my new single!” He winked at the crowd. “Are you ready?” the audience was a wave of happy screams. He gently ushered the boys off stage, as they playfully bounced around and waved at the crowd. Taemin looked back at Gakuto one last time before he turned away, and his heart ached with happiness.

 

*

 

From backstage, the boys could hear Gakuto singing his new songs – of course, Taemin had been able to hear them first, in the quiet intimacy of the older man’s home, and alongside Chacha and You in the studio. Away from the shining lights and screaming fans, Taemin collapsed happily in his brother’s arms. “I’m really so glad you’re both here,” he gushed, breathless. “I’m so happy you could come and support me tonight.”

Forgetting about the love-bites that had been left his body from the night before, Taemin carelessly let Key help undress him and prepare for his outfit change. Key noticed a blooming bruise on his shoulder, and gently touched it, making Taemin wince – not from pain, but from the realization that he had been caught. “What’s this, Taeminnie?” Key asked. Taemin swatted the older boy’s hand away.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. “Just a bruise.” He quickly slipped his new shirt on, covering it.

Minho clued in and shot Key a look. “Taeminnie, who gave that to you?” he asked, voice a suggestive sing-song. “Who else do you know in Japan…?” he wondered aloud, reaching for the press-powder to fix Taemin’s sweaty face. “Oh,” he realized, and clicked the compact shut. “It’s not…” he looked to Key, who nodded. “Is it?”

Taemin looked at the floor, like a child having been caught with his hand in the sweets jar. Minho’s face softened and he coaxed Taemin’s chin to look at him. “It’s alright, you know,” he said. “I get it,” he cocked his head cutely. “He’s beautiful.”

“So,” Key chimed in, fixing Taemin’s hair. “How did it happen? Did he at least take you out to dinner first?” Minho and Key laughed.

“Are we really doing this, now?” Taemin whined, a smile on his face despite it all. “Can’t you grill me later?”

“Oh, we will,” Key replied, not missing a beat. “But for now, let’s maybe cover it up with some concealer,” he clicked his tongue, faking disapproval. “I can’t believe you were going to go out there in this outfit without covering _that_ up first.”

“You should see the marks I left on him,” Taemin joked.

Laughter.

 

*

**_= AFTER THE CONCERT =_ **

****

Taemin closed and locked the dressing room door behind him and leapt easily into the older man’s arms, wrapping his legs around his slim waist and uncaring of how sweaty they both were. 

“We did it! We did it, Gacchan!” He took his face in his hands and kissed him excitedly, thrilled at how the crowd had loved them both. “I can’t believe we did it,” he rested his forehead against the other man’s neck, catching his breath. Gakuto backed up against the wall, holding Taemin up by his thighs and breathing, trying to bring himself down from the high, too.

“We did it, Taeminnie,” he cooed in Korean, picking the young man up. “Your project was a great success.”

Taemin gingerly lowered himself down from Gakuto’s strong grip and kissed him slowly, beaming. “Gacchan, my brothers want to meet you properly after this...” he kissed him again. “But I need something from you before we leave this room...” he tugged at the waist of Gakuto’s leather pants and stars up at the older man wantonly. 

“What do you need, my beautiful boy...?” Gakuto purred, pressing their hips together and making Taemin hiss in delight.

“I need you...” Taemin bit the older man’s lip gently, but clearly relaying the message. “I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk...” he cupped Gakuto’s length in his hand over his pants, feeling how desperate the singer was. “Gacchan, won’t you please fuck me?” Taemin cocked his head and looked into the other man’s beautiful blue eyes. 

Something in the way the young man said his name so sweetly, so needy, made Gakuto’s heart ache with desire. He grinned, taking Taemin’s chin in his hand and kissing him forcefully before turning him around to face the wall, hands pressed to the cool surface bracing himself as he undid his stage outfit trousers. Thankfully, they were easy to handle with one hand; his other wrapped gently, carefully around Taemin’s throat as he kissed the young man’s bare back, shivering with delight. Gakuto let Taemin wet his fingers for him, a hungry, desperate tongue licking and sucking on them, begging. He slipped first one, then a second, inside, and began to push in and out slowly, teasingly; Taemin squirmed happily under his touch, his own hands clawing at the wall, impatient. He pushed back against Gakuto’s fingers, desperate for more. He moaned as the older man bit and sucked at the tender spot between his neck and shoulder, pushing his fingers further. Taemin’s back arched and he shot a desirous glare in Gakuto’s direction. “Now,” he commanded, grunting as he gyrated his hips against Gakuto’s hand. “I need it now...!”

“Good...” Gakuto cooed into the young man’s ear, looking at the love bite that had begun to bloom on Taemin’s neck. He slipped his fingers from him and positioned himself at his entrance, taking hold of the young dancer’s hip as he thrust inside at last and forcing a low, relieved moan from Taemin’s parted lips. Gakuto, too, felt a wave of needy relief as he entered the young man and buried his face into Taemin’s shoulder as he began to thrust, his moans echoing in Gakuto’s ear and making him hungry for more. With one hand, Gakuto held fast to the young man’s hip and with his other, he carefully wrapped his fingers around Taemin’s neck and turned his face towards him for a kiss; Taemin moaned into Gakuto’s mouth as he continued to thrust deeper into him, his entire body seemingly on fire. 

“You’re so pretty, like this...” Gakuto cooed into the young man’s ear, bucking his hips and forcing a satisfied cry from Taemin’s open mouth. “Tell me how it feels...”

“Gacchan, I... it feels so good...” Taemin reaches behind him and grasped at Gakuto’s hand, pulling him closer and wrapping the other man’s fingers around his desperate member. “Please... please...” he rolled his hips against the older man. Gakuto smirked at how compliant the young dancer was being, and he began to stroke him, in time with his thrusts. 

“Does that feel good...?” Gakuto teased, gently nipping at Taemin’s ear, his honey velvet voice sending shivers down his spine. Gakuto felt Taemin’s member twitch in his hand as he spoke, and he continued, “you like it when I talk to you, like this...” he kissed along Taemin’s neck, salty sweat coating his hungry tongue. “Don’t you, baby?” Taemin grew harder in his hand, and he knew the answer. Taemin grunted in response, grinding against Gakuto’s hips, desperate for more. Gakuto smirked and lowered his voice further. “If you ask me nicely, I’ll let you come,” he kissed the love-bite, and Taemin groaned. “You want to, don’t you?” 

“Yes, I...” Taemin moaned against the wall. 

“What?” Gakuto pressed on, continuing his deep thrusts. 

“Please... please let me come, Gakuto-san...!” Taemin bit his lip to keep from crying out; again, he rolled his hips and pushed back against the older man’s practiced thrusts, begging. Gakuto could not take much more himself; he continued to stroke the young dancer and move his hips into him until he felt Taemin’s thighs shudder in orgasm and spill into his hand. Gakuto, too, came at last and thrust into Taemin slowly, slowly, until he was completely drained. Gakuto collapsed against the young man’s back and they stood there, motionless and panting, the air smelling of their mingled perfumes and sex.

Gakuto kissed up and down Taemin’s neck, tasting the perfumed sweat that clung to his soft skin. “Taemin...” he murmured, satisfied. “That...”

Taemin let out a breathy, satisfied laugh. “Yeah,” he shivered a little against the older man’s body and turned to face him, leaning against the wall to steady himself. “Gacchan,” he smiled and wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck. “That felt so good... to be like that with you... it’s been so long, I… I didn’t know I could… I haven’t…” he pressed their foreheads together.

“I know,” he kissed the young man softly, understanding. “I know,” was all Gakuto could reply, smiling from ear to ear. 

They stood like that for a moment, just breathing and looking at each other.

Until there was a knock at the door.

“Taeminnie! Are you decent?” Key’s teasing voice called from the other side.

“Shit!” Taemin swore and he instinctively tore away from the other man, furiously wiping his face and body with a nearby towel. He coughed and called back, “give me a second, hyung!” Gakuto burst out laughing at how quickly the scene seemed to change.

“Hurry up, we’ve been waiting ages!” Minho called. 

Taemin’s heart dropped. “You’ve been out there since the end of the show?” He asked, pretending not to care. He watched as Gakuto tried to quickly get back into his regular clothes, hoping from foot to foot slipping his jeans on; he didn’t even have time to enjoy the view.

“Open up! We have presents!” Key chimed in again, banging rhythmically on the door. “Aren’t you dressed yet? What have you been doing?”

Laughter, from both sides of the door.

Taemin quickly spritzed his neck and wrists with perfume, hoping that might mask the smell of the other man. Minho and Key began chanting, “open up! Open up!”

Gakuto shook his head, tears in his eyes from laughter, and rubbed cologne behind his ears. He shrugged. “Let them in,” he whispered, grinning.

Taemin leapt across the room with an athleticism he wasn’t aware he possessed, and upon looking over his shoulder to Gakuto and checking him, he opened the door. “Guys!” he beamed, throwing his arms around both men. “Did you have fun?” He pulled them into the dressing room, and took Gakuto by the wrist. “Let me finally introduce you both to Gacchan properly---” he stopped himself and said again, “Gakuto-san,” flustered, he tugged on the older man’s wrist to step in. 

“It’s so good to finally meet Taemin’s brothers properly, at last,” Gakuto bowed his head in greeting and flashed his beautiful smile, instantly endearing Key and Minho to him. He took their hands in his in turn and looked them in the eye. “You’re all he talks about,” he winked, “I’m quite envious of how deeply he loves his little family.”

Minho blushed, full of pride. “You have the most beautiful voice! Really, what an amazing concert,” he gushed, earning a shove from Key, which he largely ignored. He looked at them both. “You two work so well together, I always knew our Taeminnie’s instincts were good.”

Taemin smiled. “Hyung, that’s…” he blushed, and looked towards Key, who watched how Gakuto beamed at the young man.

“We brought you presents!” Key smiled brightly, producing two small boxes from his bag. “Something to remember your first collaboration,” he explained. “I picked them out obviously, Minho-ya was no help at all,” he teased, blowing him a kiss. Minho caught it and pressed his fingers to his cheek cutely.

Minho took the boxes from Key and presented them to Taemin and Gakuto. “Though I’m sure this isn’t the end of your work together,” he smiled, “we just thought it would be nice to commemorate your first duet stage.” He smiled at the older man. “You know, Taemin never told us how handsome you are in person,” he couldn’t help the blush that rose in his cheeks. “I guess he wanted to keep that for himself,” he complimented, taking in Gakuto’s pretty features and blue eyes.

“Ya!” Key teased, “remember who you’re going home with,” he ribbed him again. The four laughed, at ease.

“Hyung, you shouldn’t have,” Taemin beamed, opening the box and finding a ring; he slipped it onto his finger. “It’s beautiful,” he kissed both member’s cheeks.

He turned and looked to Gakuto, who stared wide-eyed at the little gift; a ring with a constellation engraved on the outside. He looked to Key and Minho for an explanation. “It’s gorgeous,” he smiled appreciatively and slipped it onto his finger. “What is the constellation?”

“We got inspiration from Taeminnie’s last Japanese tour,” Minho explained, “the constellation is Cancer, his sign,” he took Gakuto’s hand and examined the ring. “And on his, we engraved your sign, Gakuto-san! Virgo.”

Gakuto was touched by the thoughtfulness of the gift and hugged both boys, who were surprised at how affectionate the older man was – they had heard many stories of his aloofness and even his coldness; and even though Taemin had scolded them for believing the stories, the pair were still taken aback. “It’s beautiful, thank you,” he smiled at the young men. “You put so much thought into this,” he turned the ring on his finger and smiled at Taemin. “I’ll treasure it. I’m sorry I didn’t prepare anything for you." 

“We heard you sent gifts to our leader,” Key waved away the older man’s concern. “That was such a kind thing to do, Jinki-hyung was so surprised. You didn’t have to do that, but he was so touched.”

Minho chimed in, “and you’ve been taking care of our Taeminnie this whole time,” he pinched his maknae’s cheeks lovingly. “That’s gift enough.” 

Taemin’s eyes softened and he looked toward Gakuto. “Shall we all go get something to eat?” he suggested. “I’m starving.”

“I know just the place,” Gakuto said.

 

*

 

The moon hanging lazily in the night sky, the group made their way to what had quickly become a treasured spot for Gakuto and Taemin – his favorite wine bar. Gakuto ushered the boys in, holding the door open and guiding Taemin in last by the small of his back. Taemin and Gakuto greeted the bartender who dutifully brought over bottles of their favourite wines for the foursome, Minho and Key looking on.

“He seems to know you really well,” Minho examined the wine. “Have you come here before?” he asked Taemin curiously.

“Yeah,” Taemin smiled at the older man and leaned in imperceptibly further where they sat next to each other in the booth. “Gakuto-san took me here after our first meeting to make sure I was feeling comfortable with the collaboration.”

“All he talked about was you two,” Gakuto teased, pouring glasses for everyone. They toasted a successful concert, and drank happily. Under the table, Gakuto rested a hand on Taemin’s thigh, gently caressing the spot with deliberate fingers. “I have heard so many wonderful stories about you all,” he continued. “What’s your favourite memory about growing up with Taemin?”

Minho and Key looked at each other, thinking. Minho’s eyes lit up, the perfect story in mind. He took a sip of his wine and leaned in, a smile already curling on his lips. “Years and years ago, we did this program – we were given a special holiday break by our company, and we all went to different places. Key and I went to England, Jinki-hyung went to Thailand, Jonghyunnie-hyung went to Japan, and Taeminnie…” he drew out his maknae’s name, teasing him. “Taemin went to the Swiss Alps.”

“So far away!” Gakuto laughed. “What was it like?” He turned to Taemin.

“It was beautiful,” Taemin replied, remembering. “But I’d never really been anywhere without my brothers before, so it was lonely, too.”

“We grew up together,” Key explained. “We’re pretty clingy and protective of each other,” he looked at Gakuto. “We’d do anything to keep each other safe, and happy.” Key was smiling, but his expression told Gakuto that if he ever crossed him, he’d have an enemy.

“Taemin has told me so many stories about how you all grew up,” Gakuto set his glass down gently, and winked at Key, continuing in Korean. “I’m so glad he’s had such wonderful brothers to raise him. You must all be so proud of how your maknae has grown into a man.” He smiled at Minho and Key, who were surprised by his sudden linguistic switch. “It’s been some time since I’ve been able to speak Korean so freely, I’ve enjoyed working with Taemin very much.” He noticed Minho’s glass was nearly empty, and topped it up. “So go on,” he pressed kindly, “tell me more about Taeminnie’s solo trip to the frozen Alps.”

Minho thanked the older man for the refill and continued, “He hadn’t even been in Switzerland for an hour before he called me,” he laughed, remembering. “He called me in a panic, he’d slipped away from the cameramen and said me, whispering, ‘hyung, this was a mistake! I don’t know enough English for this!’ and it took me almost twenty minutes to calm him down and get back on schedule.”

Taemin puffed his cheeks out and pouted cutely, pretending to be cross. “It didn’t happen exactly like that,” he tried to save himself. “We all missed each other, it wasn’t just me!” He looked accusingly at Key. “How many times did you call me when Minho was at his football game?” he teased.

Laughter.

 

*

 

Having seen Minho and Key to the airport, Gakuto took Taemin back to his hotel; unwilling to simply drop him off, Gakuto walked with him to his room, and they stood outside the closed door, suddenly bashful. “You worked hard today,” Gakuto smiled. “You did so well.”

Taemin smiled up at the older man and cutely buried his face in Gakuto’s chest, curling his arms around him. “I’m so tired, Gacchan,” he whined cutely. “Come in with me for a while. You must be exhausted, too.”

Gakuto smiled, and allowed himself to be led by the hand into the young man’s hotel room. He noted how endearingly messy the space was; for some reason, he thought Taemin would be much more organized. Taemin slipped off his jacket and flopped theatrically on the bed, sighing. “I’m so happy.”

Gakuto sat on the edge of the bed, smiling at the young man. “Why’s that?” he played along.

Taemin turned onto his side and ran a hand through his hair, looking at the other man. “I never thought anything like this would ever happen,” he explained. “To sing side by side with my idol of so many years, it’s… I have to keep pinching myself to remind me it’s real.”

Gakuto laughed. “Taemin, we’ve been working together for weeks,” he reminded him, patting the dancer’s shoulder. “Do you really not see how much fun I’ve had too, working with you?” He shook his head. “I wasn’t warm to the idea at all, in the beginning. I didn’t know that much about you at all, I was so adamant. But now…” he gingerly curled his fingers through Taemin’s hair. “It’s me who should be pinching myself. I never expected I could be so happy… ever again.”

Taemin sat up and shifted so that he was able to rest on Gakuto’s shoulder, arms draped around him from behind. “Gacchan,” he said softly, still delighting in the pleasure of using such a cute name for the older man, “I don’t want you to be in pain, not anymore. It’s alright to open your heart again.” He kissed his cheek and nestled his chin into crook of the other man’s neck. “You have helped me see that, too.” 

Gakuto turned his face slightly and kissed Taemin’s temple. “You’re so young… too young to have had to endure such a pain as that. I know it hasn’t been that long since our first meeting, but… I would do anything to ensure you never feel that pain again.” 

Taemin hugged the older man tighter. “Gacchan, when this is all over… what will happen?”

Gakuto thought for a moment. “I’ll have to go back to Malaysia, I suppose,” he replied honestly. “But, I’ve been taking on more projects here,” he added quickly, not wanting to upset the beautiful dancer. “I think…” he took Taemin’s chin gently in his hand and kissed him. “I think I’ll be spending a lot more time here.”

Taemin’s heart ached with desire for the older man. He climbed into Gakuto’s lap, straddling him; arms around his neck. “Come to Korea,” he whispered, curling Gakuto’s hair in his fingers.

“What will your brothers think?” Gakuto teased, though he did wonder. He snaked his hands under Taemin’s shirt, and ran gentle fingers up and down his bare back.

“They think you’re beautiful, and talented,” Taemin kissed him. “And they know you’re a good man. They won’t tell anyone,” he pressed their foreheads together. “Come back to Korea with me, at least for a while." 

Gakuto kissed him then, deeply and deliberately. “I’ll make a deal with you,” he said at last, voice deep and sonorous, sending shivers down Taemin’s spine. “I’ll spend as much time in Korea with you as you have spent in Japan with me, working so very hard.” He kissed him again, and Taemin felt a warmth in his middle, traveling lower every moment he spent in the older man’s lap.

Taemin pressed their bodies together, forcing a soft moan from the other man. “It’s a deal,” Taemin replied, subtly grinding his hips into Gakuto’s, making him tighten his grip on the dancer. “You look so tired, Gacchan,” Taemin grinned. “Lie down, let me help you relax…”

Gakuto pulled Taemin down onto the bed with him, and soft laughter echoed throughout the room. In the sky, the moon shone brightly.

 

*

 

**_= GAKUTO =_ **

 

Waking gently when Taemin shifted in bed, softly snoring, Gakuto turned onto his side and stared out the window, the sky and moon and stars peeking through half-closed curtains. He smiled, and carefully rolled out of the bed, making sure not to wake the young man. Walking on his toes, he crept to the window and pressed his face against the glass, a gentle sigh clouding the cool surface.

 _Ukyo_ , Gakuto looked heavenward. _Are you upset with me_? His heart ached. He needed to know; _are you watching me, in heaven? Can you see me now?_ He heard Taemin sigh in his sleep, and looked back at the young man to see whether he had woken up – he was still sleeping. Gakuto, relieved, turned back to the moon. _I have been so lonely without you, Ukyo… so desperately lonely. And then, almost out of nowhere, comes this beautiful boy_ … he looked back at Taemin, eyes bursting with love. _And he’s just like me, Ukyo. He understood my heart so clearly; he understood my pain. How could I not need him? I need him, Ukyo… just like he needs someone now, too. He needs someone who can help him bear the scars in his heart. Are you cross with me… for opening my heart to another, after all these years?_ Gakuto’s eyes filled with tears. _I will never love anyone else as I have loved you, Ukyo, he promised. But this beautiful boy… he calls out to my heart. And I want to stay with him._

Gakuto fixed his eyes on the moon, half-hoping for a sign to fall from the sky. He knew in his heart that it was not so easy; sighing again, he slipped back into the bed and smiled when Taemin instinctively curled into him.

 

**_= TAEMIN =_ **

 

Taemin woke in between dreams, as he often did. Looking at the older man asleep in bed next to him, he smiled. But his heart ached; he quietly slipped out of the bed and went to look at the moon.

 _Hey, Jjongie_ , he smiled to see how full and round and low the moon hung in the sky, nestled among brilliant stars. _Did you watch me tonight?_ He pressed his forehead to the cool glass, and shivered a little. _Hyung, I have to ask you_ … Taemin turned back and looked at the sleeping figure in his bed, a smile gracing his lips. _Is it okay to let someone live in my heart? I miss you so much… I miss your lips on my skin, I miss the smell of you on my pillow. I didn’t know that I would fall for someone like him, but… you’ve seen it all, haven’t you, baby? Did you… did you put him in my path?_ Taemin looked back again at the gently snoring man and shook his head, smiling. _He understands the pain in my heart, Jjongie. When you went to heaven, I… I wanted so badly to join you. I would have done anything. I… I almost did. But this man, with his kind heart and beautiful smile, he saw right through me and knew what I needed._ He sighed, gazing up at the moon through his lashes. _Do you miss me, Jjongie? I miss you so much, every day… but working with him… working with Gacchan has helped stitch up the wounds in my heart. I want to smile again, Jjongie. He makes me smile. I need him, Jjongie… do you forgive me?_ He searched the sky. _Take care of Ukyo-san in heaven, won’t you? Did you meet, yet? You would like him. I’ve heard so many wonderful stories. Keep each other safe. I love you, baby._

Taemin kissed towards the moon, and slipped quietly back into the bed, wrapping his arms around the still-sleeping singer. At the touch of the other man, Gakuto awoke and pulled him closer. “Can’t sleep?” he asked, voice deep and comforting.

“I just needed a moment with the moon,” Taemin explained, voice soft. He pressed his forehead to the other man’s bare chest, feeling his heartbeat. “I wanted to talk to him.”

Gakuto understood, and laced his fingers through Taemin’s hair, combing through and soothing the young man. “You wanted to know if this…” he put the pieces together. “You wanted to know if this was alright,” he realized.

“Gacchan, I don’t want to be in pain anymore,” Taemin sighed. “But I don’t want to forget.”

Gakuto kissed the top of Taemin’s head. “You never will,” he reassured the dancer. “Jonghyun will always be in your heart, just like Ukyo will always live in mine.”

Taemin kissed Gakuto’s bare chest and clung to him. “If you write new memories into my skin… the old ones won’t disappear?” Taemin’s voice was small, pleading. “I want to make new memories… but I can’t let him go.”

Gakuto thought a moment, and softly sang the words to a song he’d written years ago. As he sang, he soothingly stroked Taemin’s bare back.

 

 _Back then, we dreamed of an eternity where_  
_We'd never have to part and would hold each other, smiling_  
_I t's amazing how I think of you_  
_And with that alone, I can be fulfilled_  
_So don't cry, we can always meet again_  
_If you close your eyes..._

 

Taemin closed his eyes and listened to the older man’s sweet voice. “I love that song,” he said after a while. “It’s always been a favourite of mine, since I first saw your movie.”

“I don’t want you to leave him behind,” Gakuto explained, pulling Taemin ever closer and entwining their legs together. “I just want to see that beautiful smile of yours.” He took Taemin’s face in his hands and kissed him slowly.

“Make me smile, Gacchan,” Taemin grinned against the older man’s lips, “Please…” he held fast to Gakuto’s hip and pressed their bodies together, moonlight bathing the men in silver.


End file.
